I blinked. Honestly. That’s all I did. I was tired. They were twins. For the first time she slept through at 12 months on the dot. He, on the other hand, screamed his way through night terrors for a further six months by which time I was already pregnant with DS2.

The pain and frustration soaked in red hot tears burning a nightly trail down my cheeks and made me believe there was no end in sight. But there was. It came. I am sure it was ‘all consuming’. I could think of nothing else.

And now….18 years on….I almost yearn for those days (note the word ‘almost’). They were firsts I could be proud of as I and DH had a hand in them. Crawling, walking, exploring and Mummy did not know about climbing adept toddlers who could fall from a height….

But now there are firsts that ultimately lead to ‘lasts’. They have learned to drive. They no longer need the Mum or Dad chauffeur service. Each time I have cause to drop them somewhere, I think about the ‘last time’.

It’s Christmas eve – another last time as this time next year DS1 and DD will be be blazing their own trail and returning from their uni adventures…..until the first time when we welcome them home…