More Dinner Chats

Posted on October 1, 2012 by Dubai Mum

At this stage, I am not sure which is more entertaining, the post school car chats or the newly energised dinner chats.

DS1 was speaking about a boy named K.

‘That sounds like an Irish name’ I suggested.

‘He’s not Irish, Mummy’ came the very swift response.

‘How do you know?’ I asked abruptly, almost offended that my sleuthing ability would be questioned.

With his face contorted into an expression that screamed he meant business, DS1 spat ‘He’s mean and he’s dumb’!

I began to giggle uncontrollably.  I knew I shouldn’t.  Even DD seemed to know that was the incorrect reaction from a Mummy and stared at me with a questioning look!  But, I couldn’t help it.

‘Why do you say that?’ I asked, trying to regain some form of parental gravitas.

‘Well, when we were in class, he kept kicking H under the table, and he only got 2 out of 12 on his spelling’ fired back DS1.

Case closed!

 

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Torture….

Posted on October 1, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Some days I find I endure many forms of torture….Today was one of those days.

With the aim of avoiding what has become insane traffic to exit the community in which we live, I left extra early for work.  First mistake of the day.  Although we live quite near to the main gate, it took me 20 minutes to get onto the road which allowed me to drive faster than 5 km/ph.  Cars are coming from a number of directions, and trying to get onto the same exit route.  There is nothing worse than those drivers who refuse to follow the unwritten ‘one car’ rule which would allow one car to enter the main road from a side street. Instead such drivers prefer to speed up to the car in front, block the gap even if this means rearending the car in front…..a rather silly approach when there are so many witnesses to testify to those drivers’ stupidity.

2nd mistake – Switching on my computer at work!  Well, that is actually necessary in order for me to do work and get paid…however, the firm has installed a new document management system which seems to be proving torture for IT support and the computers!  Only after 20 mins, a tea and a chat could I access my inbox…..getting up early and leaving the house early is overrated…..

This afternoon I overheard the kids discussing Chinese torture!  That brought me back!  I asked them what they were chatting about and all 3 were eager to demonstrate on me.  Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for me, they were not doing it quite right……

And then came mistake number 3…..I showed them what Chinese torture really felt like…..

‘Ouch, that hurts’ said DS2 with glee, thrilled at the thought of learning a new torture technique.

For a fleeting second, I was happy to have imparted some cool knowledge.  But, my momentary joy was quickly overshadowed by the image of kids torturing each other a la Chinois……What was I thinking?????

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Birthday Parties

Posted on September 30, 2012 by Dubai Mum

DS2 had his first ‘big’ birthday party over the weekend.  He has just started Big School and we promised he could invite everyone in his new class.  He was so excited.  A party at a private venue with him as the guest of honour.  It doesn’t get much better than that for a 5 year old!

Two weeks after the school start, invitations were delivered to each of the electric blue book bags in his class.  All I had to do now was wait on RSVPs.

I assume the reason we use a French term of ‘RSVP’ is because it is an internationally recognised term.

Apparently not.

26 invitations sent.  16 confirmed attendance.  6 made their excuses.  4 didn’t respond at all.

2 cancelled on the morning of the party, one of whom cancelled 45 mins beforehand……

Cue – PARTY TIME!

The 4 kids of those parents who didn’t respond turned up.

Thankfully sufficient party bags had been arranged (thanks to DD).

But seriously……does common courtesy even play a remote factor in your brain?

Cards are marked……

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Car Chats can be Very Entertaining

Posted on September 30, 2012 by Dubai Mum

‘Mummy, what language do I speak?’ asked DS1.

‘English’ was my reply, knowing where this was going.

Last week we had a letter from the school about the children’s assembly.  The class assembly will focus on the concept of ‘reduce, reuse and recycle’.  Given there are over 40 nationalities at the school, many children are bi-lingual.  The school thought it would be nice to convey the environmental message in a variety of languages.

Given DS1 doesn’t speak any language other than English, I threw the form in the bin.

‘But Mummy, don’t we speak ‘Irelish’?’ he asked concerned.

‘Irish?  Unfortunately not honey.  I used to speak it but have forgotten it over the years.  BTW, I won’t go into why the Irish don’t speak their native tongue as a first language….ask your English Daddy!’

DS1 looked confused and despondent.

Not quite sure if I should offer this up….’I do speak German.  It is a bit rusty now as I haven’t had much contact with the language for about 15 years, but I used to live there and learned the language.’

‘How do you say, ‘Hello’?’ he asked excitedly.

‘Guten Tag’ or, more precisely ‘Hallo’, I responded, eager to show I was once bi-lingual.

He tried out ‘Guten Tag’ a number of times, and decided he was fluent and could participate in assembly as a native German speaker!

I am sure Miss S will be scratching her head tomorrow……..

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10 Things I Thought I’d Never Say as a Parent….

Posted on September 29, 2012 by Dubai Mum

and these include things I swore I would never say as they were babies….

1. Because I said so…..(in response to their eternally repeated sentences which always seem to start with ‘why?’)

2. If only I had known what it would really be like….

3. Why doesn’t anyone tell you what it is really like?!!!!

4. (To DH) – How much do you reckon boarding school in the UK costs?

5. Work is easier than being a parent.

6. If you don’t let me brush the tangles from your hair, I will cut it as short as your brothers’.

7. If you don’t stop doing that/tidy that up/do your homework/[insert any offence in here!], you will have no TV for a week (not that I think this kind of ‘punishment’ is severe but rather because I thought my babies would never dare step a foot out of line…..).

8. I can’t wait until they are teenagers and they don’t get up before noon, and they only grunt at me…..(in response to the many pre-6am starts which are generally heralded by incessant noise, shouting and high pitched screaming that bores oh soo painfully through my ears/brain for what seems like every minute of the day).

9. Are you really going out in that? (If I were to say this, I thought it might be in 7 years time and to my DD….not right now to DS2!!!….).

10. Seriously…do you ever stop farting?  The fart offender finds this hilarious!

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Boosters

Posted on September 27, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Seats, shots……both have featured in our lives in the last few weeks.

Finally, I let go of the car seats……up until now I have had the kids in 5 point harness seats which are suitable until the age of 12 years.  Although there is no legal requirement in Dubai to buckle up, let alone ensure kids are safely strapped into car seats, I wasn’t taking any chances.  The Number 1 killer of children here…….car accidents.  Goodness only knows the injury rate…..The kids referred to them as ‘baby seats’.  I saw them as a crucial part of car safety.

However, as all their friends have booster seats, DH persuaded me that simple boosters are fine.  The argument: when I was a kid, we had nothing…..My response ‘in your day you didn’t have 12 lane motorways, high performance cars, 4×4 cars…need I go on???

I lost.  They now have boosters and the choice of 2 x 5 point harness seats.  They decide, and at least we have enough safety equipment in the car for playdate kids!

AND, the other ‘booster’……

Pre-school boosters…..well, I wasn’t quite on time with those….DS2 started school and I still wasn’t quite sure which vaccinations he needed!  Having consulted the school nurse, she set me straight.  Today was D-Day.  I had booked the appointment with the paediatrician and did not tell DS2.  Picked him up from school and broke the news.

‘Mummy, will the lady poke me with a stingy thing?’ he asked, indicating he seemed to remember what ‘boosters’ meant.

‘Yes’, I confirmed.  ‘It will hurt a little, but I know you are a big, brave boy and I will get you a treat afterwards’, I bribed.

HE DID NOT FLINCH for either shot…..

In the last month DS2 has never ceased to amaze me.

He sucked on his lollipop at ‘injection’ time and didn’t move.  He even forgot the promise of a treat in return for being brave.

Not even I could be that brave and fearless……I take my hat off to DS2!

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More Car Chats

Posted on September 27, 2012 by Dubai Mum

‘That’s an adult word’ announced DD speaking to DS2.

Lost in music and trying to focus on the ridiculous line of traffic ahead of me, I missed the ‘adult’ word.  But, no need to worry, DD would repeat it continuously for the best part of the length of the traffic jam.

‘When you are 13 or more than 13, you can say it.  But until then, only adults can say it. ‘Cos after 13 you are past a teenager and an adult’ she explained authoritatively.

The word was ‘sexy’.

I wasn’t quite sure if I should be more concerned about the fact DD:

a) knows the word ‘sexy’; or

b) was explaining to her 5 year old brother about the rules of use of the word ‘sexy’; or

c) thought adulthood starts at 13 years; or

d) possibly all of the above.

Well, I did know she knew the word ‘sexy’.  She learned it from a Bruno Mars song her year 1 class sang for their end of year send off.  DD’s teacher at the time, Miss C,  told the class that ‘sexy’ was an adult word, and instead, they would use the word ‘lovely’.

Teachers are fabulous – I take notes on all their tricks….!

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Car Chats

Posted on September 26, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Driving back home from school DS1 announced he had learned ‘science’ at school.  Confused, as I was pretty sure  ‘science’ was not part of his curriculum, I asked what he had learned.

‘Well, Mummy, if you put cheerios in a bowl and put the bowl in the microwave for 17 minutes, that’s science’ he rattled off.

‘Hmmmm’, I replied cautiously.  ‘What happens then?’

‘Ehhh, ehhh, I don’t know, oh yes……I do.  The cheerios will be hot and you put them on a plate’ he offered, glowing with the pride of  a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

I was lost for words.  Well, not really……I couldn’t help myself.

‘I would have thought they would explode in the microwave.’

DS1 thought about this and then informed me, ‘You can also leave the bowl of cheerios outside but they need to stay outside for 20 minutes in 43 degrees.’

‘I doubt they would last that long….the local cats and next door’s dogs might gobble them up before the 20 minutes are up’, I reasoned.

Undeterred, DS1 announced to DD, ‘if you put a bowl of cheerios in the microwave for 17 minutes, it will explode!  That’s called science!’

BTW – checked the curriculum.  Reading, Spelling, Maths and Arabic….no science…..I suspect hand-me-down playground talk from those with older siblings!

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Loyalty

Posted on September 26, 2012 by Dubai Mum

‘For my next birthday, can I have a ‘Tottendam’ Spurs football kit?’ asked football crazy DS2.

I giggle and look to DH who raises his eyes to heaven to reply, ‘DS2, you can’t have every kit of every team you watch on TV’.

‘Why not?’ replied DS2 without taking his eyes off the TV.

In the past year, DS2 has become obsessed with football; well as much as a 4-5 year old can become obsessed with anything.  Taking the lead from DS1 who took to football with gusto when he started playing with his friends as an afterschool activity last year, he has been kicking anything that remotely resembles a ball (including DS1’s head)!

For 2 years, I battled him each day with regard to his wardrobe choice.  Every day, he wanted to wear the same trousers, the same top; it was a good day if I could persuade him to change his underpants!  Over time, he grew, and the trackie bottoms flew half mast.  The knees and bum sections became threadbare.  I patched them.  The patches became threadbare.  I put patches on patches.  There was no getting away from his ‘comfort’ clothes.  It drove me crazy most mornings and I soooo wanted to put a sign on his back explaining that he ignored all of Mummy’s sartorial and hygiene advice…..

But then, as his interest in football grew, so did his interest in alternative attire – the FOOTBALL KIT!  Until then, I thought I would have to wait until he started school, and had to wear a uniform before I would see him in something different!

As DS2’s knowledge of the football world expanded, so too did his choice of football kit.  C’mon Liverpool, Chelsea,  Man United, Man City, Spurs, Arsenal; whichever team was playing, that’s the kit he wanted…….This frustrates DH no end.  In his eyes, you can only choose one team and that’s the team that Daddy supports – Liverpool.  Supporting any other team (at least any other team in the Premiership) is heresy, especially Man U!

Whilst football may be life and death for Premiership fans, and even though I foresee battle lines being drawn between DH and strong willed, single minded DS2, I am just thankful that football served such a divine purpose of getting DS2 out of his rags!!!!!

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Brotherly Love

Posted on September 25, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Unfortunately DD has been struggling with a cold and croaky voice for the past few days.  Going to bed last night, her voice was gone.   ‘No school for you tomorrow young lady!’ I announced.

She burst into tears and tried to challenge my medical decision by whispering her objections as loud as possible! ‘It’s library day tomorrow.  I have to go to school’, she sobbed.  As I tried to calm her down, I could hear DS1 clearing his throat, and coughing.  The look on his face said he was trying it on to see if he too could get out of school….

‘OK, I understand you want to go to school sweetie but if you don’t get better, you won’t be able to go to DS2 birthday party this weekend.  Besides, DS1 can see if he can get you a library book tomorrow’, I suggested.

DS1 was thrilled with the chance to act like a big brother, and enquired as to which book she would like.

‘Something with Horrid Henry in it but not the ones I have already read’, she replied.

Peace and calm restored.

On the way home from having picked up the boys, DD called to see how close to home we were.  After a few quick words, DS1 insisted he speak with his sis.

‘Sis, I couldn’t get you a book in the library today because the librar, librar, librariaraian said I had to give back 2 books if I wanted to take out 2 books.  So, because you said you wanted Horrid Henry, guess which book I got?  Horrid Henry.  It’s about football.  I will like the football bit and you will like the Horrid Henry bit’ sang DS1.

My heart melted.  Such a kind, thoughtful little boy.

By this time DS2 was screaming at DS1 asking for the phone so he could talk to his sis.

‘Sis, you know, I got 3 stickers today; 2 for the House Team and one for my chart’.

It definitely made a change from the usual bickering and shouting that goes on in the back of the car from tired munchkins…… DH and I have gotten something right!  Not quite sure what but, for once, they acted like little humans!!!

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