From the Mouths of Babes

Yesterday, I dropped off DS2 at school……..all was going swimmingly until DH dropped by the classroom to wave goodbye. Before entering the classroom, DS2 spun round and  shouted ‘Goodbye Stinky Bottom’ (and yes, it sounded like the words started with caps!).  Everyone heard it……I wanted to die.  Then his new buddy turned to his mum and shouted the same farewell.  Could it possibly get worse?!!!

I could sense the horror of most of the mums, especially those mums of the little princesses in the class!  Thankfully we are only a few weeks into the school year, and most of us can’t yet match the kids to the parents….otherwise DS2 may have been branded the class deliquent and me, the worst mother in reception!!!

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Cross Dressing Bear

Thursday pick up.  It’s the weekend.  It’s the twins’ birthday.  As a surprise for all our September babies (that would be all 3) DH booked a night at Atlantis.  Aquaventure, here we come.

Thursday, 12:50:  Brandishing ‘Barnaby the Bear’ (‘BTB’) above his head, DS2 burst out of his classroom door.  He beamed at me triumphantly.  I burst into smiles.  My baby is responsible for BTB for the weekend!

Bet BTB  hasn’t been to Atlantis or Aquaventure yet this year!!

Barnaby the Bear is a national treasure on the junior campus.  Very much a coveted prize (I say that not knowing how teachers decide on his weekend living arrangements!).  Each Thursday BTB is entrusted to the care of a child from each class (Yes! BTB has been cloned and is used across 12 classes!) for the weekend.  BTB takes along his passport in which his carer is required to report back on his weekend with photos, pictures and a short narrative.  DS2 was even given a change of clothes for BTB; all kept in a plastic folder labelled ‘do not misplace’!

My camera was snapping away at every opportunity: BTB in the hotel room, at Aquaventure , sunbathing on a lounger by the pool, at a brunch, drinking chilled soft drinks by the pool, playing football at the Polo Club….

Somewhere in between all the splashy mayhem, DS2 announced that the girls call BTB, ‘Betty the Bear’.

DH and I exchanged confused glances.

‘Betty the Bear’?????? I splurted.

DD chimed in by vigourously nodding her head.

A cross-dressing bear?  Barnaby one weekend.  Betty the next.  How politically correct!

‘That might explain the gold, glitter sandals in his wardrobe’ commented DH.

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Can We Ever Replace Paper and Pen?????

My answer? NO…..I have a BlackBerry phone, and I sometimes carry iPads in my bag (but that’s just if I am going somewhere with the kids and I feel they might need the distraction).  Often I have a pen in my bag.  But, more often than not, I do not have paper.  Well, that is, clean, scribble free paper.  When ideas pop into my head, and I don’t have something on which to scribble them down, they will be forever lost in the memory ether……that bugs me.  But more than anything, it bugs me that I can’t remember to put a notepad in my bag every day.  Perhaps I should be more annoyed at myself for not being able to transfer the contents of one bag to the next each day…..It’s not necessarily the memory ether that is holding all my ingenious ideas…..it is probably the tardis handbag I used last week!

Mental note: it is easier to jot down notes than to type them on a BB or an iPad.  Paper is equal in importance to my wallet.

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School Rules

Going back to school is always a big adjustment after the summer holidays.  Getting the kids up, dressed, fed, watered, teeth brushed, and into the car for their school run is hard enough…..and even moreso when the temperatures are still creeping towards 40 degrees and the humidity dial is stuck on ‘relentless’.  Despite all, the school start was going according to plan.  DS1 and DD settled back into the routine as if they had never been away and DS2 has handled his first few weeks at Big School with admirable aplomb!  Yep…all going smoothly.  Phew!

Then came a letter (rather an e-mail) from the school.  My knickers instantly got into a twist! I was sitting in my car outside the school, waiting to pick up the kids when the e-mail came through.  Thinking about the last time the school sent out a message regarding an ill-thought-through proposal, I raised my eyes to heaven.  ‘Another one that will be reversed when they realise how dumb it is’, I thought.  Knickers untwisted…my anger subsided.

Well, that was until I got to DS2’s classroom door where other Mums were mingling.  ‘Furious’, ‘angry’, ‘silly’, ‘ridiculous’ were just some of the adjectives being bandied about……all to describe the latest proposal by the school.  Cue: re-twist of the knickers!

There are (or rather, were!) two entrances to the school; the front entrance and a smaller back door entrance.  Given the circular layout of the junior campus, and also from the logistics of parking in the limited sandpit car parking, this made sense.  Those who dropped off and picked up from the further end of the campus, could park closer to the back door end and enter through the back door.  Those closer to the front door, could park near the main entrance.

BUT now……for health and safety reasons of the children, the back door has been shut for drop offs and pick ups.  Cue: bunfight for parking at the main entrance, double parking on the road, basically complete chaos.  It’s one thing asking parents to walk further to drop off or collect but it’s quite another to ask the small kids to walk twice the distance in the heat before and after school.  Unlike when the back door was open, I now have to cross a road whilst holding on to 3 kids.  Cars are zooming up and down the road.  Some drivers have stopped on the road, put on their hazard lights and expect to be able to stay there, irrespective of what goes on around them, manoeuvering in and out without due care and attention.

Not much rational thought went into this.  There are alternative solutions which could address the concerns of all involved;  afterall we are all working towards the same aim.  I am now furious.  Probably moreso because I know, from experience, that genuine parental concerns will be swept away with a dismissive arm.  From the school that markets itself as ‘being a community’ and always willing to  ‘listen to parents’, they couldn’t have gotten it more wrong!

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Happy Birthday DS1 and DD

WOW…. my first borns….(is that how one describes twins????) turned 7 today…..I am just full of  ‘WOWs’ about this.  I can’t quite believe it.  7 years they have been on this earth, 7 years DH and I have been practising our parenting skills, 7 years of smiles (and a lot of tears!  Theirs and mine!), 7 years of looking at the world through their eyes, 7 years since I last had a lie in, 7 years since I could go out with just a handbag and not a bag of nappies, wipes, spare clothes, water beakers, and what feels like the entire contents of the toy room!

As a surprise birthday treat, we collected the kids from school on Thursday and drove to the Atlantis hotel where we had booked in for a night.  They thought they were going home to ‘wait’ until the next day for their birthday, and all the joys that brings with it…

GOTCHA!  Post school pick up blues vanished in an instant.  The thought of Aquaventure, the children’s water park, inspired screams of delight and furious running around in circles.  DH checked in whilst I tried to stop the kids knocking over unsuspecting hotel guests.

We had a blast.  Yes, it is still hot and humid but as long as some part of your body is in water and the shade, it makes it more bearable.  They wiped themselves out at Aquaventure and were asleep in their giant hotel beds by 8pm…..mental note, ‘could we recreate a mini Aquaventure in the garden’????  2nd mental note ‘we do not need a mini waterpark in the garden.  It only seems to encourage them to get up at 5:30am the next day’!

With each birthday that passes, I can’t help but wonder where the time has gone.  When they were born, like all  parents, we measured time in days, weeks, and sleepless nights.  Now, we measure time in real time; in years, school starts, summer holidays and wobbly teeth……when did that happen????  Often, the quick passing of time makes me nostalgic and teary eyed.

When I look back, there are so many moments I wished away: sleepless nights, DS’ night terrors which had him screaming uncontrollably for most nights until he was 15 months old, the need to dump their pureed solids on their heads rather than attempt to eat it (I’m not that bad a cook!), folding and unfolding a twin buggy and trying to to fit it through impossibly small doors, potty training of 2 at the same time, nursery tears, the bare knuckle/fist/biting fighting in which they regularly engaged because they wanted the same toy…..the list goes on.  Sometimes I catch myself wishing I could go back in time and re-live those moments, and embrace them without the anxiety I felt back then.  But as I said, DH and I are ‘practising’ our parenting skills.  Some days we get it spot on, others not so much.

So many wonderfully touching, truly blissful moments have passed and so many more lie ahead.  From now on, the true joy will be sharing those moments with little people who also appreciate them and who will be able to welcome our participation.

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21st Century Kids

It’s funny how you feel your children make you feel like you are morphing into your parents.  Back in the day, and I am talking about the ‘Walkman’ day……my parents were dazzled by new fangled gadgets.  Listening to Michael Jackson’s Thriller tape (yes! I said ‘tape’) on full volume in my brother’s Sony Walkman (yes!  I said my ‘brother’s’ Walkman, because I didn’t have one) whilst singing along at the top of my not-so-well trained voice, the world was perfect.  My brother had been working in the US over the summer and bought the most up-to-date gadgets.  No one could top what he had.  I repeat, the world was truly perfect.

Not for one second could I, as a teen, possibly conceive of a time when technology would be so advanced, that the 21st century’s answer to a Walkman would be similar in size to a credit card, and which, when used when exercising would not cause the songs to ‘jiggle’….easy peasey.

The next best invention was E-mail….WOW.  The internet – WOWer.

Then came an hiatus in my tecchie knowledge and experience.  I resisted mobile phones with the ferocity of a lioness protecting her cubs.  In my day it was cool to be different.  It was all about individuality; not conforming.  We stood up for what we believed in.

Yet here I am – throwing all 21st century gadgets at my kids.  Well, throwing is an exaggeration.  Given the kids’ catching skills, that would be sheer foolishness!

I am by no means queuing up at 3AM to get the latest in technology, but when the rush subsides, I am there, more because I think it is critical that my kids adapt to technology from an early age than because I think it ‘cool’.  So much for the principles of my youth!

But seriously, if an iPad can be an educational tool and make numbers, letters etc. more interesting, then I am willing to try.

It goes without saying my kids are phenomenal when it comes to playing Temple Run, Fruit Ninja, Ninja Jump……they dabble in the educational stuff.  I believe their brains are being wired to ‘tech thinking’ and somewhere along the line, they are learning something.

All I know is that despite hours of practice on Temple Run, Fruit Ninja, Ninja Jump, I am rubbish compared to my kids who are relatively new to this planet.  Yes, it is baffling.  Now I feel like my parents when I was lauding it over them with my brother’s Walkman……..I blame my fat fingers and a very sensitive iPad touch screen!!!!!

 
 
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Back to School – Week 3

DH and I are still in a state of shock!  DS2 has settled into school so well….so much better than we anticipated and we are so happy!  DH is still on school drop off duties.  DD and DS1 dump their bags outside their classrooms and run off with their friends in a gingham blur.

Then DH walks DS2 to his classroom.  Usually, he would stand around chatting to DS2, enjoying some quality ‘boy’ time, as they wait for the doors to open (why this can only happen when the bell rings at 8am is beyond me, and seems particularly cruel in the hotter weather).  But yesterday, DS2 left DH’s side and wandered off to sit beside one of his new friends, M.  There he chatted with his friend and, from what DH could hear, was inviting himself to M’s house for a playdate!

The bell rang.  DS2 stood in line with his bags, and with barely a glance backwards to DH, he happily entered his new environment.

I was so excited to hear how well he is settling; so proud of my little man.  But yet, such a momentous milestone brought with it mixed emotions, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a tinge of sadness.  My little man, all grown up.  I no longer have babies…..now they are all on their way to being independent, little people……

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Back to Soni

the terrapin…..well….after, what felt like a long and tortuous road/current to death, and having lost, I can’t quite remember how many at this stage…let’s just say it was a lot (!) of terrapins, we assumed Soni was well on his way to terrapin paradise.  And, rather than see him (and we have no idea if Soni is a boy or a girl!  Soni was a boy because DS1 named him) deteriorate and suffer a slow, and I have no idea how painful a death, we decided to pre-empt Mother Nature and bury him.

He had not eaten for weeks and hardly moved.  His legs were in the same outstretched position for what seemed like forever, and there seemed to be skin peeling from his shell.  To say the least, he looked far from healthy.  Google only seemed to advise on what to feed terrapins, and the environment in which they should live.  We had been doing everything according to the book, or rather, according to Google.

So, DH gently removed him from his filtered water tank.  Under the cover of night, and safe from the kids’ awkward questions and innocent eyes, he brought Soni to his adopted sister’s grave (again, we have no clue if Sparkie was a girl.  She was a girl becaused DD named her).  I couldn’t watch, but said a little prayer, and actually shed a few tears.  With Sparkie, I felt so sad because we had to break the painful news to the kids and handle the ‘death talk’.  This time was slightly different.  Yes, it would be difficult to tell the kids but, I was crying because I felt DH and I had been such failures.  How could we let so many terrapins die?  I do not like all animals by any stretch but, I would never harm any. I felt we had let Soni down, and worse, we had let the kids down.

That night, I hardly slept a wink.

The next morning, after breakfast, DH explained to DS1 that Soni had not made it through the night and asked him if he would like to see where we had buried him.  A shocked and bewildered DS1 followed Daddy to the garden.  His siblings clutched him on either side in a show of unified support.  A UAE flag marked the spot.  They hunkered down.  I watched from afar, tears brimming.

Within seconds, the kids came running back.  Still bewildered with an added dose of confusion.  Thinking they were inconsolable, I cracked.  I looked to DH who was gesticulating wildly to get the kids in the house.

‘No, it couldn’t be’ I thought.  ‘What I am thinking is not possible’.

But….what I was thinking was possible.

Turns out, when DH had taken the kids for a graveside visit, Soni was not dead.  In fact, he was burrowing his way upwards through the depths of the sand….and at that very moment , his bald, leathery head was wiggling through the surface!

Cue – confused, freaked out kids and incredulous (and all the while guilt ridden) DH!

Our theory…..the fancy, expensive filtered water tank was too cold and Soni went into some form of hibernation/hypothermic state which slowed down his heart rate.  Burying him in a natural habitat with two important elements in terrapin world: sand and heat, he came back to life with a vengeance!

Since then, he has been living in a tupperware container with room temperature tap water.  Needless to say, he is THRIVING and eats at least a can of tuna a week!

Moral of the story: DO NOT MESS WITH THE BIG MOTHER NATURE or avoid pets at all costs…..safer that way!

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Just Call Me……

‘Mummy Nag’, ‘Wife Nag’, amd/or ‘Co-worker Nag’….choose one….any which one you like and/or suits the moment.

Speaking to a co-worker today he asked me ‘Why do you have make my life so difficult?’  He said it with a smile on his face,  and was not being serious (well, at least I hope he wasn’t!).   My response was ‘If you think I make your life difficult now…..just wait…..you will not know what has hit you in the coming weeks!’  I was being serious.  He promptly left my office as another co-worker looked on giggling!

And then I got to thinking…..my job and my homelife are very similar.  I spend my time at work harassing people to do this, that and give me this or that.  I email, I send memos, I speak to them.  They react politely but more often than not, it gets me nowhere.  I resent them for making me ask more than twice.  It makes me feel like a nag in the office to the point I am sure they raise their eyes to heaven and think about running and hiding when they see me coming.

From work, I drive to collect my munchkins.  From the moment I ask them for the 3rd time to get into the car quickly due to my imminent heat induced expiration in the sandpit car park, I feel I am back to nagging.  Indeed, a different level of nagging but still…..On the car journey home, I constantly ask for a reduction in noise levels so I can focus on driving, then in the door, it’s ‘get changed out of your uniform’, ‘don’t throw your clothes on the floor’, ‘choc chip cookies are not a healthy snack’, ‘sit and do homework’, ‘sit and do homework’, ‘sit and do homework’, ‘seriously, you think that is the letter ‘c’??’………Like my colleagues, I am sure my children would like to run and hide from me, given half the chance!

Enter DH…..’Did you swing by Spinneys on your way home to get milk/bread/bananas/comfort food?’, ‘will you do maths homework with them’, ‘they need a hairwash tonight’, ‘can you take them out for a scoot before bathtime?’, ‘when will you ever stop looking at that BlackBerry?’

I am annoying myself at this stage…..

In my defence, however, a quick calculation points to the fact that I spend most of my day in the company of males; at work and at home…….I think most women would agree, my ‘nag’ status is a bit like a hangover to my ‘nagees’ – self inflicted!

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Battle of the Sexes

So, DD went to her first pyjama party (thankfully not involving a sleepover!) yesterday.  Opting for a nightie and bringing along one of her favourite soft toy, she had a blast.  They played games, ate cake and had their nails painted.  They also watched 2 movies: Barbie and Hannah Montana.

Now, I would not be a fan of either of those as a movie choice for my DD who soon turns 7 but I didn’t want to make a big deal of it in front of DD.

‘Did you enjoy the movies?’ I asked nosily.

‘I liked the Barbie movie but not Hannah Montana’ she replied in a blase tone.

My face lit up with a smug grin of satisfaction (and relief!)!

But, this got me thinking.  DS1 has been watching Ben 10 cartoons, movies and playing with Ben 10 themed toys for what seems like forever!  He was drawn to Ben 10 when he was about 4.  By virtue of DS1’s interest, DS2 was exposed even earlier! Yet, I would think the target audience is 6+.  How is it that this interest didn’t bother me as much as the thought of my DD playing with Barbie or hanging onto every word Hannah Montana says?  Other girls her age, in her class, are ‘into’  HM.

Ben 10 is a superhero.  He has supernatural powers.  It is a common theme of boys’ interests at most ages; good triumphing over bad.  If my boys want to save the world, that’s fine with me!  Barbie, on the other hand, with her big boobs and unrealistically skinny waist, is not what I want for my daughter.  And, whilst I know DD will grow up, become a tween/teen with lashings of attitude, impossibly short shorts and midrif showing tops, I would rather she didn’t reach those milestones before she hits double digit birthdays!

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