Who needs Google?

Posted on September 15, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Not us here in the Middle East: we have Expatwoman!

Expatwoman is the first stop (and a one stop shop, at that) for anyone thinking of relocating to the Middle East, especially, Dubai.

I had not yet moved to Dubai and Expatwoman had already given me a virtual taste of what to expect when we got there.  And, in the 5 years we have been here, the site has just grown to be one of the most informative sources for expats.  Need to know about visa procedures, local customs, laws, schools, where to live, where to party, where to find a gardener?  Expatwoman has all the answers!  I imagine EW has the answers to the questions we haven’t even thought of.

When we finally arrived in Dubai and were starting to settle, I found myself logging on daily to check out the Dubai forum.  The forum is like a chatroom for women (though I am sure there are also a few men lurking on there behind girlie sounding usernames enjoying the ‘gossip’ as much as we girls!).  Topics ranged from tenants’ rights to the crazy rental prices, from how to employ reliable home help to who knows competent maintenance guys, from school runs to the crazy drivers one meeets on a daily basis.

But, after a few weeks, I realised the forum was much more than this!  These virtual friends talked about everything.   Behind the security of anonymity, women discussed the most intimate details of their lives from bedroom practices to suspicious behaviour by DH, from fertility issues to how to ditch the Dubai stone/babyweight/holiday weight, from loneliness to how to extricate oneself from a negative friendship/relationship.  Sometimes it seems as if some people can’t live their lives without polling EW’s views.  What should I eat for dinner?  Couch to 5k or the Circuit Factory? Should I go red or stay blonde? What should I wear to a friend’s wedding/birthday/job interview.  Where to holiday, eat, zumba, do pilates?  To stay in Dubai or to leave?  To Botox or not to Botox?

EW reading becomes addictive.  Everyone has a view.  With so many nationalities based in Dubai, and probably at least one representative from each one logged on to EW, the threads can be fascinating, funny, arrogant, lighthearted, heartbreaking, annoying, entertaining, controversial, and yet EW remains informative, supportive and educational; all part of of that rich human blend that makes up life in Dubai.
PS – I should point out, I am in no way affiliated with or connected to EW…just an avid user!

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Seriously????

Posted on September 15, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Since the kids have learned my and DH’s mobile numbers, the summer has been filled with regular calls from ‘Home’…..The first time I received a call from ‘Home’, I was at work.   My kids were at home with our helper.  My heart skipped a beat and as I scrambled to press the answer button, I dropped the phone on the floor.

What could have happened?  Who has had an accident?  Why would L need to call me at work??????

‘Hello’ I blurted urgently.

‘Hi Mummy, I got the highest score on the iPad’ shrieked DS1 with delight.

Phew.  No fire, no accidents, no fever.  Just DS1 celebrating high scores on Ninja Climb.

The next call came about 2 minutes later.  DD just saying ‘hello’ and asking me what I was doing!

‘Not very much work, honey!’

When the next three calls came, I felt confident enough to ignore them…..perhaps they would get the message!

A few days later, on my way home in the car, Home ‘called’ again.  I answered thinking I just needed to assure the caller I was on my way home and would be there in 15 mins.

‘Mummy, DS1 is skateboarding in the house’ snitched DD.

‘Put DS1 on the phone’ I ordered.

‘Hi Mummy, I am only skating a little bit, only in the front room’ DS1 said defensively.

‘DS1, you know I said no skateboarding in the house.  Skateboards are for outside’ I replied.

He ‘humpfed’ and the line went dead.

‘Hello, hello, DS1, are you there?’ I asked.

Nope, just the dialling tone…….

The little bugger hung up on me in a huff!  Seriously?

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My Week

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Since Monday (the 2nd day of our week in this part of the world), I have had the distinct feeling that the week was not going by as quickly as usual, and definitely not as quickly as I would like!  By mid-week, hump day Tuesday, time was dragging by.  Slow motion in the desert.  Time’s hands creeped round the clock face.  Even I felt I was moving slower.  The kids always seem to move slow in the heat.  Pace is determined by how much one sweats when standing outside, not by the seconds that have ticked by in real time!

How we managed to get to Thursday, the start of our weekend, is a miracle.  I feel exhausted, drained, and there is no question that I have sweated, dried and re-sweated way too many times each day this week.

I drive to work and pack as much work as I can into a 4-5 hour day (and, believe me, that is a lot more than most of the support staff manage in twice that time!), rush to pick up the kids and then home via the shops for food, do homework and dread the start of afterschool activities.

Obviously, my boss thinks I don’t fit enough into my half a day’s work and that those remaning few minutes I use to go to the bathroom or refill my water, could be more effectively usedfor the benefit of the company.  He called me to his office.  I was prepared.  He was ambitious.  Don’t you just hate it when your boss asks you to give a rundown of what you are doing only to dump a lot more work on your plate without realising the time and energy involved in what you currently do?

Over my summer break, I had decided to do my 4 hours and leave work in the office.  After all, that is what my contract states – 4 hours each day.  But, for quite a while before the summer break, I had been taking work home, working weekends…..a pattern with which I was not happy was forming.  I know it’s called ‘going the extra mile’ but it felt like a ‘marathon’ most days, and needless to say, most of the time, it was not appreciated.

So, my post summer resolution of leave work in the office has been banished to never, never land. Sigh.

Oh well.  I hope the ‘Zen’ I had hoped to work on is as patient as it is calm because, once again, it will have to be put on the back burner.

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Battle of Wills

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Dubai Mum

So, having had a, how should I best describe it?  Oh yes, a challenging year with DS1’s homework last year, I thought I would pre-empt all future resistance by planning my strategy in advance of the new academic year.  I ran through my mental list of what did work and what didn’t, the latter being the longer of the two lists!  I started with positive reinforcement (as least I think that’s what they call what I was doing!).

If you do your homework without making a screaming fuss:

– You can have  a sticker for your sticker chart.  When you have 5 stickers you can have a treat;

– I will give you AED2/5/10 (depending on how much my will had been broken!), and at the end of the week you can buy yourself a treat;

– I will buy you a special treat;

– You can stay up until midnight on Thursday;

– I will leave you more in my will than your siblings.

Can you guess on which list the above landed?  Yep….the ‘didn’t work’ list…….

But, I was not willing to give up my quest for the perfect bribe, errrr, I mean, incentive/reward, that easily.  Early in the summer, I hit on the achilles heel of every child under the age of 12…….the iPad…….I know…..at this stage anyone with any understanding of technology was lining up to spend the night outside the Apple store to get their hands on an iPad3, whilst we seem to be a generation or two behind (really???? Why is it that a ‘generation’ is considered a year or two these days?  In my day, a ‘generation’ was a few decades)……So, adhering to my interpretation of a ‘generation’, we aren’t late coming to the party; we are super early, ahead of our time, in fact!

Anyway, that’s all beside the point of the power this new fangled tablet has over the little ones (I do appreciate it’s not just the little ones that are entranced!).  One iPad.  3 kids.  Not a fair battle.  So, we got a 2nd iPad….still not an iPad 3 but, nonetheless…..now we all have the time to improve our ‘Fruit Ninja’ and ‘Temple Run’ scores…..whatever about it being a great ‘babysitter’, the iPad has helped in my lot’s appreciation of sharing.  5 stars from Mummy!  Though, now we are working on putting that ‘appreciation’ into practice.  Sorry Apple, you lose 2*

This IS it.  I have found the perfect incentive.  ‘You do your homework, you get to play on the iPad for 10 minutes’.  It worked wonders over summer…..

Week 1 of school…..no interest in the iPad.  Only interested in catching up with all their friends and wondering which activities they will be doing after school, and how many playdates they can squish into a week.

‘Not to worry’, I think.  Once they are settled they will be begging me for the iPad.

Week 2 – still no interest.  I think there is something wrong with my 21st century kids!  No interest in the iPad, or any other modern gadget for that matter. It was the first extended period of time they weren’t squabbling over it.

Damn those little critters; they have thwarted my plans.  They pre-empted my pre-emption of their tactics.  I am powerless against them.  I am back to square one on the homework front; my will against theirs……sigh.

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Week 2 of Big School

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Sunday – tears….

Monday – no tears but reluctant to be parted from Daddy

Tuesday – see Monday

Wednesday – hardly looked round and had to be asked by Daddy for a goodbye hug and kiss!!!!

Now we are not worried about tomorrow!!!!

Starting school is such a rollercoaster of emotions for everyone, the children, mums, dads, teachers!  The second week has been particularly hard on all the children as they realise this is it….this is life for the next 12 years….every day, same drill, uniform, book bags, homework, and……mum yelling at us to get in the car as she melts in 50 degrees in the car park!

With DD and DS1 already in school, the anxiety levels were not as high when DS2 started school .  The school is familiar.  The teachers are friendly faces and the other parents supportive in every way.  But whilst I look at DS2 and think he is too young/small to go to school; that he looks so different and grown up in his uniform, I well up with excitement thinking about the new, exciting, colourful world that awaits him; endless possibilities of fun, learning and discovery.

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School Run Envy

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Dubai Mum

On the odd occasion that I do the morning drop off at school or nursery, I would often find myself staring dreamily at those Mums dressed in their gym gear, ready to hit the gym once the bell tolled for the start of the school day.

I envied anyone who had the time to fit in a workout, coffee mornings, grocery shopping, all round hair, nail and body maintenance, and any other errand for which I dreaded sacrificing my precious weekend time.  My envy would grow to resentment, and then revert back to envy at how easy these Mums’ lives must be.  These graceful Mummies seem to float in and out of the school grounds, whilst I always feel like I am in a relay race in heels, in the unforgiving terrain of deep, dusty sand. They are on a par with those Mums who drop off in one outfit and who have time to shower and change before collecting their little darlings.  I am far from the image of the perfect Dubai Mummy, hair sticking to my forehed, make-up sliding off my face and feet covered in sand to my ankles…..

But, when all is said an done, there is nothing more soul destroying than seeing Dads dressed for their post drop-off gym workout ……

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Chatterboxes

Posted on September 8, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Three days into the new school year and we are slowly getting into the swing of things….DS1 and DD have had no problems settling back into school….though that may change when focus and homework will be required from next week!  DS2 has done remarkably well for his first week at Big School.

As seems to be usual with new school years, at the morning drop off there seems to be as many parents as there are children milling about.  Well, the kids are charging about whilst the Mummies and Daddies chat.

On Thursday, both DH and I did the drop off.  DH is usually commander in chief of drop offs but, as it was the new school year, I just wanted to make sure all 3 munchkins were settled and happy.  DH said he was going to shoot off straight after he said goodbye to DS2, so he could beat the line of crawling traffic leaving the school.

As it turns out, I was on the motorway and well on my way to work when DH was still chatting at the school gates!  He bumped into another Dad he knew and they got chatting outside DS2’s class.  When DS2 was safely in his classroom and I was making a beeline for my car, where was DH?  Still chatting!  When he finally escaped and headed for the exit, he bumped into a former Mummy colleague and they got chatting.  He said he was the last one to join the painful queue of traffic to get onto the motorway!

This made me giggle….DH will no longer be able to ask with incredulity ‘how come it takes you soooo long to do the school run in the mornings?’

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Chats at our Dinner Table

Posted on September 5, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Usually, and I am embarrassed to say this, the topics of conversation at our dinner table are rather limited.  ‘Poop’, ‘farting’ and ‘burping’ are recurring themes.  Cringeworthy, I know.  However, recently the topic has turned to the boys’ favourite sport – football.  Still not my preference but better, and slightly more interesting than bodily functions.

Yesterday, DS2 announced that Manchester United is the best country in the world.  Now, sons born to a Liverpool fan (note I didn’t say ‘fans’.  Used to be a LP  fan but I am not afraid to admit, I have given up on them!  Actually, I gave up on them a long time ago), the mere mention of the dark side, Man U, warrants being locked in the stocks in the garden and lambasted with rotten citrus fruits.  The penalty for suggesting Man U is a country should be deportation.  But, given DS2 is only 4, no iPad playing would get the message through soon enough!

Naturally, I corrected him about his lack of geographical knowledge and DS1 supported me in relegating Man U to its rightful place of a football team and not a country.

But, we were not singing from the same hymn sheet!

‘Manchester United is NOT a country.  Manchester United is in India’, he announced with the authority of David Attenborough.

I nearly choked on my spaghetti.

When I could catch my breath, I felt the need to correct DS1.  Otherwise DH would think I spend my afternoons brainwashing them against the repeatedly unsuccessful Liverpool sides of the last 2 decades!

‘Manchester United is not in India’, I scoffed.

Adamant he was right, DS1 continued to repeat  what he thought was Man U’s heritage.

‘H supports Manchester United, and he is from India’ he argued.

Ahhhh…..penny drops.

One of DS1’s good schoolfriends is Indian.  He supports Manchester United.  DS1 thinks it is your duty to support your ‘home’ side.  Therefore, to a 6 year old who does not support Man U and whose good buddy, who happens to be Indian and does, Manchester United is Indian!

To DH’s chargrin, that means FC Barcelona is part of Team GB!

Note:  Having told an avid, avid, avid, in fact, the most avid Man U supporter I have ever met , about this conversation, he declared ‘DS2 is very wise, indeed’.  According to him, Manchester United is more than a country; it is a universe!

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First Day at Big School

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Dubai Mum

At 5am, I woke with a jolt; feeling like I was late for an exam or an important appointment.  But what appointment?  My mind was so sleepy blur, I couldn’t quite recall what was so important…..Just as I rolled over to try to force myself to sleep for another hour, it dawned on me…..DS2’s first day at Big School.

At this point, I was fully awake; there was no way my brain would allow me to hit the snooze button now.

A momentous milestone in the life of my last born.  And yet, I was filled with a certain dread; and not the dread that meant I was ‘losing’ my baby to the big, bad world of junior academia.

Rewind to the nursery years.  2.5 years of nursery and you would think he would be used to a daily routine of drop offs and pick ups.  Ehhhh…nope…..I lost count of the number of times I picked up a screaming, red faced little boy dressed only in his underpants and a top, and drove to nursery to hand him over, (along with his trousers!) to his ever-patient teacher!  Almost every return to nursery was  marked with the ‘I don’t like nursery’ song and dance; after Christmas holidays, Easter break, and even after some weekends!  If, after almost 3 years, he couldn’t get used to the lovely nursery he went to, how would he cope with school??????

Moving up day at Big School was, as I expected, but quite the opposite to all I had hoped and wished!   Lots of clinging, lots of crying whilst other mums looked on with empathetic glances (but probably secretly thanking God, their children hadn’t reacted this way!!).

So, it was no wonder I was finding it difficult to send out the message to the universe that his first day at Big School, would be fine…….

6:30am and DS2 hopped out of bed, momentarily forgetting it was ‘D’ day……On realising his uniform had replaced his football kit as the new daily attire, he dived back under the covers!  When I managed to coax him out, he looked so sad, almost frightened.  We had a little chat, hugged and cuddled.  But when it came to putting on his uniform, he resisted with the might of a trapped beast.  He contorted his body into such positions, it made it nigh on impossible to get his uniform on.  Going to Big School in just one’s underpants and a shirt was just not an option!

We continued our battle.  I won.  He looked cute.  The crying stopped.  I would like to say the tears dried…but there were none (from him anyway!).  Transformed he almost skipped downstairs to breakfast.  Drained, I felt like diving back under the covers!

On entering his new classroom, he was greeted by the lovely Miss S.  To help ease the transition for the first timers, only half of the class was in today.  We found a spot for his bags and started our ‘goodbyes’.  He gripped DH and me so tightly.  He wanted to be picked up.  I so wanted to pick him up and run out the doors but, I resisted.  We hugged and settled him at the boys’ table.  He looked so bewildered but did not cry.  My brave little son.  We left.  I couldn’t look back.

My morning at work was spent clock and phone watching…..expecting the school to ring.  It didn’t.

At pick up DS2 was the first in line to get out the door!  A big smile from him and a big hug from me.

‘Did you have a nice day?’ I asked tentatively?

Nodding his head vigorously, he said ‘yes’.

The weight lifted.  He was happy and chatty about his day.  He got a sticker for being a good boy!  He was chuffed.  I was so proud I wanted to cry.

Watching DS2 with his siblings in the afternoon, I noticed a shift in his demeanour and manner.  He seemed more confident, he acted older and wasn’t backing down from his older brother as easily as he used to.  Although he might not be able to express it, he knew he had achieved something big, something important, and all on his own.  And why wouldn’t he be feeling pleased as punch about that!

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The Night Before the First Day

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Dubai Mum

Tomorrow my Dubai Baby starts school.  Where has the time gone????  It was only 5 years ago that we moved to Dubai and now my Dubai Baby is starting in Reception.

I think DS2 and I feel the same.  Well, maybe, not really.  He feels anxious, me, less so….or maybe not!  I feel he is ready, he, perhaps less so.  Gosh, changing status quo as an adult is bloomin’ hard enough.  How must it be for a near 5 year old????

He can read, write and knows some maths.  ‘He’ll be fine’, I advise  myself.  I am just glad he will have a uniform…..up till now his couture choice has been: PJs, Football kit or worn, 3 year old trackie bottoms flying half mast……

Tomorrow we will be there, with support, love and bribery (yet to decide on the clincher!).

I foresee a morning of clockwatching at work.  I will be dreaming of the ice cream promise all morning till I see DD, DS1 and DS2 in their gingham uniforms at 1:50pm.  CAN’T WAIT!

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