I can’t sleep. I am afraid to sleep. Everything aches. I get on the stationary bike every day. I try to cycle the pain away. But my legs don’t want to hear of it. My shoulders, my bones, my legs feel so heavy. I miss you. I miss you all. It’s so hard to reconcile the joy I feel for you living your best, independent life….and the sadness I feel missing you at home. I don’t miss your laundry and ‘what’s for dinner?’ questions. I am still here. I am trying to stay awake in case you need me. But it’s hard.